U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
