why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
