The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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