I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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