You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
