so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
