yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
