i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
