The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
