did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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