is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
