You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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