New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
