Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
