i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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