i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
