get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
