I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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