I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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