i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
