trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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