I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
