A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
