Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
