do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
