so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
