guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My bed smells like the plague
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm really busy with my period
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
