So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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