oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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