my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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