do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
