How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
