I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
operation harelip BJ is a go
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
