WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
