it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
