Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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