i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We don't watch enough power rangers
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
