it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dating After Heartbreak
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.