The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
