all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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