Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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