at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
