Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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