I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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