Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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