guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
