they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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