Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
