i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
