We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
