Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just want nice things and good sex
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
