I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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