So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES