So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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