I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
