Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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