The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
