are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
