And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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