Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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