There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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