pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
