he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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