If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
