I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
