I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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