She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
