I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
