Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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