Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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